I am at the point in my journey where my voice has now surpassed me. My desire to free myself from a past of sexual abuse has become bigger than my propensity to stay small. While my voice could very well get me into trouble, I am more than willing to pay whatever the price it is to remain free from the shackles of emotional pain. I no longer have the right to worry about the strength of my voice, for I know that my truth will always be there to bail me out. My story is my truth.
Recently, I released my first book entitled “The Roaming Mind: One Man’s Journal of Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse“. It is a collection of this blog’s posts written on the subject of my healing. I prefaced each blog post with the story behind them and why I wrote them. The exercise of writing this book gave me strength as I was able to go back in time and revisit each instance of my healing journey. It was not an easy task, but I did it, and for that, I am proud. Problem is, I wrote a book, now what?
As I gave out copies of my book, I began to feel a little uneasy. Like the early days of writing posts on this blog about my healing, I was scared to put my words physically in the hands of others. Would people accept them? Would I get ridiculed for not writing a perfect book? Would people use my words against me? Would I get sued? Some anxiety began to creep in, I’ve been down this path before, but something happened to me as I talked about my book to my co-workers, my voice kicked in.
I didn’t write this book for glory and I didn’t write this book for money. I can be a YouTubing daredevil to accomplish that. My pride is not on the line for the number of copies I sell or don’t sell. I could have written a “How-to solve your debt crisis” book to do that. My voice wrote this book and the purpose of my voice is to merely share my experiences on a topic that not many others are willing or ready to share. Had it not been for my childhood hockey hero Theo Fleury and his book “Playing With Fire”, I probably would not be as transparent about my journey as I am now. His openness inspired me to go the distance with my healing. All I am doing is simply paying it forward. My hope is that with this book, someone, somewhere, will find their voice… and let it carry them to a life of peaceful existence.
We all have emotional pain and we all have a voice. Once we figure out how to mix the two into a coherent and powerful message of triumph and truth. Only then do we finally unlock the secret of limping away from being a victim into walking strongly as a victor.
Victory is mine.