On the Fence: The Third Side to Every Story

You’ve likely heard this many times: “There’s your side of the story, their side, and then there’s the truth.” Either by relationship or by your own morality, you are sometimes pressured to pick one side over the other -almost by default. By choosing a side, you are lending support, being decisive and maybe to some degree, you feel like you are contributing to the cause. By not choosing, you feel indifferent, wishy-washy and powerless.

Nobody likes someone who sits on the fence. It’s cowardly.

I like to sit on the fence.

Over the years, I’ve been one side of a bigger story. When a family secret of child abuse is revealed, it tears everyone apart. All members of the family scramble to pick a side with who they feel is the victim. They feel the need to defend and protect! But everyone sees victims differently.

At the start of my healing, I wanted everyone to take my side, I was the victim, I was the abused child after all! However, wisdom has taught me that I don’t need anyone to validate my truth.

Recently, I’ve been caught up in some situations where I can feel the pressure to make the call on which side I choose. And this pressure has given me sleepless nights, wondering if by sitting on the fence, am I doing the right thing?

The Reason for This Blog

The most magnificent reflections in my life come to me when I work out. There are all kinds of science behind why your mind opens up when you’re in beast mode. It’s the reason why many people become addicted to body movement in the first place -myself included.

Before each workout, I set an intention to learn something about my life and world. And then, I record it on this blog to encapsulate my thoughts and then share them with you.

What Was My Intention?

I intend to think deeply about why sitting on the fence between two sides of a story is the right thing to do. Also, I would like to reflect if this makes me look like a hypocrite -especially when by not picking sides goes against my morality.

How Did I Feel Before?

I’m feeling perfectly fine from head to toe! Just confused, but primed for reflection.

What Did I Do?

  • Bike: Rode 10 minutes with varying resistance, avg 110 RPMs.
  • Weights: Did a biceps and a triceps set.
  • Abs: Did an ab workout on the mat.
  • Treadmill: Ran 10 minutes with an insanely high incline at a 5:37 k/min pace.

How Do I Feel After?

I feel pretty good after that potluck workout. My legs are feeling a little tired from the biking and inclined run, but overall, I enjoyed myself. My mind was ready and open to receive my thought.

What Did I Learn?

In a nutshell, the third side of every story is time. Time reveals all.

When those around me try to persuade me to come off the fence and take their side, they are purposely robbing me of my time. Time to discover my truth of the story. While I understand there are certain situations when picking a side is automatic, finding that balance is the art of being a trustworthy human.

So while I enjoy sitting on the fence, waiting with time to discover my truth to your story, I shouldn’t get comfortable. At some point, I must choose a side. Otherwise, I’m just proving unworthy to know it.

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