You get up every morning, what do you do? Are you grateful to have the opportunity to do life all over again? Or are you disappointed at what prospects await you as you start your day? Depending on which side you’re on, depends solely on how much you feel that you matter. How do you matter in a world that doesn’t seem to matter?
I’ll admit, I’ve gone through many bouts of feeling like I don’t matter. There are some days where I don’t feel like I matter at work and other days where I don’t feel like I matter at home. And most days, I don’t feel like I matter to the world. What is the point of all of this? What is the point of me?
It comes down to one simple statement: I won’t matter to anyone else if I don’t matter to myself.
When you’re not connected to your inner voice, none of your life will ever matter.
Here are some observations that I have noticed in my own life that seem to drag down my self-worth and the feeling that I matter. They are all centred around a common theme: self-disconnection.
People are always watching you; don’t look for them
Isn’t it funny how you value your privacy yet, crave the adulation of achievement?
So often you look for praise to validate your movement. Yes, I understand that being appreciated from time to time is nice; it makes you feel good. But being addicted to that praise sets you up to only do what you will get praised to do. Like a lab rat hitting the feeder bar, you do anything to keep the good vibes coming -even if it means doing something you’re not in alignment with.
People are always watching you, just like you are always watching them. It’s what you and I are programmed to do. We “people watch” to validate our thoughts and ideas. If you live your life as if nobody is watching, you will soon see just how much you matter to the growing audience who’s curious about you and what you’re doing. But if you live your life trying to get noticed, the audience looks away, they’ve already seen that before. You don’t matter, you;re just another clown at the circus.
Get away from the distraction
OMG! Our world is so full of distraction! Everything and everybody wants your attention. You know those distractions, your phone, TV, social media, the news, that noisy motorcycle driving past your house, your dog whining for your attention, or what about that mosquito flying around your head when you’re trying to sleep?
Distraction is good for business, and it’s even better for egos. Knowing that we have a captive audience fills our need to matter, so getting someone’s attention is a surefire way to matter –even if it’s superficial. Donald Trump has carved out a presidency based on keeping the American public distracted. While most of us cringe, he sure thinks he matters, and well I have to agree that he does.
Every time you allow yourself to be distracted is an opportunity lost to remain connected to your inner voice; the more you stay distracted, the more lost you become deaf to it. Be aware of the distractions in your life, how else will you ever matter if you’re too pre-occupied with someone else life?
Resist chasing perfection
Perfectionism is a nasty habit formed from years of trying to seek validation from others. Growing up, I was often praised for doing just about everything. Eventually, I grew a desire to perfect everything I did. This need was not sustainable as perfection is subjective.
As an adult, I quickly realized that chasing perfection leads me to be disconnected from my inner voice. That inner voice was telling me to take risks, be bold, and to be myself. Those risks would end up being central to discovering who I was without the praise.
Nothing is perfect. If you want to matter, you must understand that you are not perfect and that nothing you ever do will be perfect.
Don’t play the blame game
It’s incredible how much blame you spread around without even thinking about it. The problem with blame is not that it can be unacceptable at times; it’s that blame always means that you are giving your power of involvement away.
Blame is a chickenshit approach to life, the coward’s mantra to living. Regardless of what happens to you, placing blame removes your involvement both past and future. I’m sorry to say, but if it’s in your reality, you’re involved.
If you want to matter and if you want your world to matter, you have to be willing to accept responsibility for anything that happens to you. Regardless of your situation, you always have the right to your reaction. It’s your reaction that proves to you and the world around you that you matter.
Blaming others, yourself or the situation that you are in will always prove detrimental to your purpose in life. How can you ever feel like you matter, if your power is in the hands of someone or something else?
Reconnect yourself to matter the most
I hope you can take away some thought on how you can make yourself matter a little more in your life. Every day is such a gift, a chance to start over, a chance to matter.
The only way for your life to matter in a world that doesn’t seem to matter is to stay connected to your inner voice and following it. You can’t follow yourself by being a distracted, perfection-seeking, praise hogging, blamer. It’s too much control to give up, and too much outside interference. You matter the most when you’re comfortable knowing that you are the only one who matters the most. It’s not selfish. It’s your purpose.