Social Distancing Journal: Day 2

I am focusing on what I have available.

Yesterday didn’t start so well. While I had a good night’s sleep, I woked up dreading my day. I struggled to stay present reading the book “Rest, Refocus, Recharge: A Guide for Optimizing Your Life” by Dr. Greg Wells -a great book by the way. I dreaded what news this day would bring, what more could possibly be taken away. Anxiety started to well up inside my body.

What more changes am I going to have to make today?

My morning routine carried on. I was in the kitchen, preparing my breakfast and lunch when the physical sign of stress hit me like a freight train. Quick sharp pains from the center of my chest shot up and over my shoulder and stopped mid-back. I could still breathe, but whenever I moved, those sharp pains took me for a ride.

In an instant, I realized that I had to take control of my situation. I’ve got to get myself together. I knew I didn’t have a heart attack, but its the sign of an anxiety attack.

Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have, or what I might lose, I focused on what I can do, what I have available for survival.

As the morning moved on, my chest pains went away, and I fell into a flow with my work. I felt a sense of comfort that I didn’t have for a few days. I began to realize that I can make this work. I will make this work.

As I was outside running my daily run, I quickly discovered that my legs and body are nowhere near in road shape for running a marathon. After training all winter on a treadmill, my body adapted to that “perfect” environment. But marathons are not run on treadmills. I realized at that moment that this change from routine is precisely what I needed.

This unplanned situation (and any situation where change is inevitable) is that not about losing what I have. It’s about gaining what I failed to see what’s available.

Creating a new normal takes a lot of upfront effort. But resisting the change takes even more effort over a longer period of time. A sailboat who doesn’t adjust its sails when the wind changes direction goes backwards, capsizes or stays in place. To go anywhere, we need to adjust our sails many times.

Survival has no bearing on how well you prepare, it’s how well you adapt to not being prepared. It’s impossible to fully prepare for every situation.

As my day came to a close, I felt a sense of balance, Things are once again returning to normal, a new normal. We’ll be alright.