Ahh! Forgiveness! The f-word to the emotionally broken. To some, forgiveness is a sign of weakness, giving up worse giving someone a free pass. To those in pain, being asked to forgive is seen as giving up control over the situation, but it is not. Forgiveness is the single and most powerful thing anyone can do to take control back to our emotional wellbeing.
While forgiveness is the most powerful thing you can do, letting go is the most difficult. The yucky part is that you can’t really do one without the other. To heal yourself from the emotional pain caused by the hand of another, you must forgive this person and let go of the memory; it is impossible to heal without doing both. Emotional pain is the result of reliving past experience in the present moment. Holding on to any baggage of the past only serves to destroy your happiness.
It took me many years, but it wasn’t until I forgave my father and let go of the emotional trauma from my childhood abuse that I was able to find any peace in my life. My pursuit of happiness was tied to the relationship that I refused to let go of. I never could catch up and eventually, I got tired of the chase. I gave up trying to be happy and allowed the pain to rule.
Then something changed inside of me. I realized that my relationship with my father remained intact for as long as I was unwilling to forgive him so, I gave forgiveness a try.
Just because I forgave my father for what he had done to me doesn’t mean that I allowed him to hurt me again. Once I was able to let go of the pain through forgiveness, my resolve to never go back to it only intensified. Forgiveness gave me space to let go of the trauma that once plagued my happiness.
In any instance of emotional pain, the key to everlasting happiness is found in regaining your control. Our pain directly comes from the profound hopelessness that comes from the lack of control over our happiness. The beauty of forgiveness is that when you gain control over your emotions, the forgiven loose control over you.
Every time we let those who hurt us take up residence in our head, we must evict them immediately with our forgiveness. Once we have forgiven them, let go of the trauma to change the locks to your emotions for good. Those that hurt you will never get the second chance to do it again. Take back control and never allow anyone squat on your mind at the cost to your happiness.
This blog post is part of a series of 26 that focuses on finding your inner happiness. Please check out the rest of the series here: The ABC’s of a Happy Life