Your life is a long game of constant relationship juggling. It’s no coincidence that you find peace when there’s a balance between the relationships you hold with others and the one you hold with yourself. And when there is no balance, do you sometimes think to yourself that nobody loves you?
Recently, I’ve witnessed what seems to be an epidemic of relationship explosions, not in my life, but the life of those around me, and I wondered to myself:
How did things go so seriously wrong? and
How can I learn from those breakdowns?
Once happy partnerships, vanished, within a blink of an eye. All that remains is a burnt-out crater, smouldering with bruised egos and melted promises. Promises of security, love and understanding, destroyed, by the breakdown of trust.
Trust is the shared acceptance of the truth.
The truth is the shortest distance between two people. Silence creates distance. Truth creates a connection.
When the voice of another gets too close to the pain from your past, you protect it with silence. Not wanting to expose your truth, you choose to say nothing at all. With a growing distance, you push the other away from your painful truth.
Trust is lost.
Two people fall apart.
You become one.
They become none.
And the cycle continues.
Over and over, you make promises of trust with new relationships. Your past pain, still unresolved, melts these promises even quicker than the others. More relationships explode, and you feel even more pain. Eventually, you feel alone: “nobody loves me.”
You don’t love yourself.
When you’re unwilling to resolve the pain from your past, you’ll never find a relationship that holds up to the distance of silence -especially the one with yourself.
The balance between the relationship with yourself and the those you have with others is weighted in your favour. It’s your job to release the weight. Reconnect with the truth and feel your pain. It hurts when you get closer to yourself, but you’ll find peace in all your relationships when you no longer find fault in your own.