Making Sense of a Senseless Tragedy

We all look to find comfort in the understanding of what happened. Sometimes, there is no comfort to be found, as no understanding exists. Thus, we remain in limbo. Caught somewhere between sadness and anger, we’re left to attempt to heal a scar -a scar that never quite heals.

Each time I hear on the news that a troubled soul has savagely ended the lives of others as they attempt to end their own, I reach deep inside of myself and ask the tough question: “Am I capable of doing such a thing?”

Thankfully, the answer is clear. “No.”

See, if I were, I would immediately seek help. I have people around me who wouldn’t judge me if I did admit to feeling that way. I’m grateful for them because In the past, they’ve reached out, and have seen me through some troubling times. They didn’t give up on me and still haven’t given up on me. I was never left to fill the void of my despair with the possibilities of destruction. They gave me hope that I could heal my damaged brain.

Your mind is you; it’s your reality and your soul. Your brain is merely the physical house that houses your mind. When the physical world called “life” affects your brain negatively, your mind will protect itself or become hurt from the hit. But when the hits keep coming, the mind grows numb from the pain. Without help, a troubled mind, battered from years of abuse, is capable of almost anything. All in the purpose of protecting whatever it has left.

Imagine your house was struck by a rock thrown at it from a passing pedestrian. You’d be angered, maybe a little concerned, but overall, you’d be OK. “It’s just a rock. It’s not too bad,” you say to yourself. The next day, a boulder is hurled at your house. A week later, a car, and then an oil tanker. Your house erupts into an inferno. Nobody is around to help. You manage to put out the fire, but your house is a mess. A massive gap is leaving you open to the elements, and your alone to fix whatever’s left.

However, you don’t have the energy to fix it.

You spend whatever energy you have left in fear of what’s next to hit your house. So, in preparation, you think of ways to protect yourself. Your reality is open to anything. Remember, an oil tanker has run into your house! Your reality convinces you that next time it could be a massive cruise ship! Or maybe an asteroid!? You prepare yourself for every possible scenario. None of it makes any sense to anyone else, but you. Nobody was around to check in on you before all of this made sense to you. And now, it’s become your reality.

Mental illness doesn’t start overnight. It begins with a single event, somewhere in the timeline of life that has altered the chemical balance of your brain. Piece by piece, day by day, the disease grows. Your mind will try its best to keep up, but eventually, without intervention, it will succumb to the diseased brain. In protection, the affected mind lashes out and wreaks havoc on the outside world that has hurt it.

Thankfully, there are angels out there who help us before the diseased brain damages our beautiful mind. They listen to us when we’re silent, they keep knocking at our door when we refuse to open it, and they love us without judgement when we’ve judged ourselves too damaged to be loved.

No, there’s no sense of the destruction caused by a weakened mind. However, there’s a sense to help those who are senseless. It doesn’t take much, just a desire to never give up on those whose reality has given up on them.

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