Whether you like or not, you have to change. Yes, you. Life will be more than accommodating to change you in ways that you will not understand if you are unwilling to proactively change yourself. You really are in charge of your destiny in life even if you are not in charge of the results along the way.
One of the most significant hurdles in overcoming the resistance to change is worthiness. It is understood that through change, we can expect a better result. Even if the change seems daunting, we hope that in the end, we will be better for it. But if you see yourself as not worthy enough for a better result, then you will never achieve it. If you believe you are not worthy of a better life, you will never live it.
Your self-worth is a combination of your environment, your past and your self-confidence. If you have been raised to not seek quality and improvement in everything you touch, then you will never believe you are worthy of better. If you surround yourself with emotional takers, then you will never see yourself worthy enough to take a little yourself. If your present mind is riddled with unresolved pain from the past, you will only see the self-worth that is tied to that trauma.
I am not advocating that you become pompous but stop wasting your time on things and people that are not worthy of it. Place a higher value on your money, your time, your relationships and your life. Don’t just give yourself away for free! As the old saying goes: “nothing in life is free,” it is true! When you give away your best for free and get no value in return, you pay with lowering your self-worth. You can even reduce your self-worth so much that it can become negative by giving more than you receive.
It took time for me to find my self-worth while healing from a painful event in my past. I never felt worthy enough to live a better life, but I knew I had to be a better father and husband, they deserved better than what they were getting from me. My negative self-worth was dragging down theirs, I was taking a lot more than what I was giving. As I waddled through trying to find ways to heal and improve my self-worth, it all started with one simple change: exercise. My negative self-worth slowly improved and it didn’t take long before I realized that my worthiness was directly tied to my inability to trust. I could never trust anyone enough to give me value, it wasn’t until I learned to trust I was able to obtain positive self-worth. After many years of change, all I seek is value in my life. I trust others and my life so much so that I now get more value from my time, family and resources than at any time in my life.
The most remarkable thing happens when you focus on improving your self-worth. It isn’t happiness, it isn’t the positive mindset, and it isn’t a better sense of self-awareness.
It is that you have changed you, and you didn’t even realize it.