Just Be Yourself

You can’t be yourself when hiding in the shadow of others. Happiness is only possible when you have accepted who you are.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

What if you have been so long not being yourself, that you have forgotten what “yourself” even is?

Many of us live our lives in the shadows of others. Allowing unhealthy relationships to rule our psyche and in turn bury our sense of self. Our self-esteem is obliterated in the process, and we find ourselves not able to find happiness in anything that we do. We think and do what those around us want us to think and do!

It is impossible to be happy when you are not yourself. Take it from me. For years, I lived in the shadow of another human being, my father. I allowed his influence over me to dictate my every move. While I felt I was happy on the outside, I was rotten on the inside. Yet, even after I removed myself from that relationship, I sought the shadow from others. I just didn’t know how to be me without someone at the controls.

Even now, I still struggle with being me. But, thankfully I am not alone. Many of us struggle with just who it is we are. Perhaps, the route to finding ourselves is the way to truly understanding and accepting happiness into our lives. Problem is, that route cannot be influenced by any other external forces, it all has to come from the trials and errors we make along our paths in life. To truly understand who we are, and what we are capable of, we have to try, fail and succeed at everything we believe is worthy. It is only then through those experiences that we find the person we have always wanted to and still needed to be.

When we are able to share with others our experiences and realities in life from an honest view, our authenticity draws people to us. This is us being ourselves. We all enjoy being around people who “just get it” and are not fake. They don’t have to be perfect, and in fact, we don’t want them to be. Authenticity is far from perfection, and in the world of happiness, it is the imperfection and the acceptance of just being your messy self that will shed the light of happiness into your soul.

Just be yourself. Don’t be the self you think others want you to be. Your happiness is not in the desires of others. If you don’t know what “yourself” is, keep trying new things, fail once in awhile, and enjoy the successes. Over time, the deliberate practice of just doing will allow you to learn who you are and give you the confidence to share your life with others authentically.


This blog post is part of a series of 26 that focuses on finding your inner happiness. Please check out the rest of the series here: The ABC’s of a Happy Life

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