OK, let me proclaim this once and for all: I do not like the word “ADULTING”! But that isn’t what this blog post is all about, all I wanted was your attention. Hopefully, I got it.
Your breakfast got burnt, your car blew a tire on the way to work, and your workload just got a lot more complicated after your work laptop blew up. The afternoon went smooth, and the ride home from work was a breeze, and then you arrive home to witness your house in complete disarray: your dog just got into the garbage bag that you had forgotten about this morning. Your day is ruined, all you want to do is go to bed.
Relentless life-sucking, wave-over-wave of bullshit coming at you from all directions. You feel beaten down, used, depressed and you begin to feel the victim. You try your best, but then you start to blame your bad day on others. Seeking retribution, you react in negativity thus passing the negativity onto someone else. Your cup is overfilled, it is time to fill someone else up. You just can’t handle it anymore!
My son recently reminded me of how life can come at you in waves. He has begun the years of his life when bullying starts to rear its ugly head. It is now the point where he realizes that not everyone likes him and not everyone wants to be his friend. It is that point in his life where the other kids are beginning to unload their shit onto him via the name-calling and childish standoffs that we all have had during our younger lives. When I asked him what he was doing about the bullying, he told me that he got angry with them, even to go so far as to fling his ball cap at them! That was when I proceeded to tell him that his reactions were not right, he had to do something else before his situation escalated too far.
I had to explain to him that by reacting to a bully means that he is giving away his control over the situation. By getting angry or hurt by their name calling, he is allowing them to take control of his brain and use it to their liking. While I couldn’t fight his battle for him or explain to him just how to respond to these bullies other than ignoring them (no matter how hard), I wanted him to know that how he reacts to this situation will either feed or starve the attention that these kids have on him. By being angry or sad from their actions, he is only feeding the animal that will never back down as he has allowed himself to become their food bowl.
So, when we are getting piled on from all directions, and we think our days or week have been ruined by the challenges that life often brings. Think deeply about your reaction. Are you giving your power away? Are you playing the victim? Are you finding blame? Is your response draining you? How can you solve your problem if you are exhausted? When life becomes your bully, ignore the reactionary emotion and focus on the solution. You will never be happy if the moment you become challenged, you hand your power over to life’s bully. “Adulting” is very difficult, but it is only made infinitely more difficult if you are not in control –YOU are ALWAYS in control. Life is merely 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.