I feel as though I can write about anything, whether or not I can write about it well, is another thing. My blog is having a midlife crisis. I am at the point with this blog where I am wise enough to know what I can do with it, but I don’t know what I should be doing with it. My passion is in writing, but I am not sure what passionate thing I should write about!
When I first started this thing, it was really supposed to be just random thoughts, fleshed out into words and meant to reach someone out there who may find something in common. It didn’t take long before I started to share my anxiety stories and mental health issues that were the byproduct of coming forward with my childhood abuse. Then as my courage and faith in my ability, as a writer rose, I wrote more in-depth about my past and became very passionate about writing about it. But now, I feel as though I have written everything I can about that subject. Have I really?
I am just confused by problems that deep down I know I have answers to, I just have to find the courage to face them.
When you feel as though you are lost and unsure about what you are doing in life, it really means you are trying to avoid the thing that you know that you should be doing. Your ego, fright, and confidence are all pushing against you to not go outside of your comfort zone and risk ridicule, pain, and resistance. This internal battle causes great instability and hopelessness in your mind as you are caught in the crossfire.
I know that my passion for writing about surviving male sexual abuse is where I have to be concentrating my efforts. There is not enough told on the subject that until recently has been very buried with stigma. Over 1/3 of my life has been spent healing from that experience, and I have things to share, I just have to find the courage once again to do that.