Where Do My Friendships Go When They Die?

I had the great pleasure of reconnecting with an old friend of mine. While our time together was awesome, it made me realize that I have taken our friendship and time for granted.

It was a Thursday morning and I was reminiscing of a memory that I shared with an old friend of mine. The memory passed my mind as I dove back into my workload. It was a few hours later and something rather odd happened. As if by some stroke of luck, I got a text message from that very same friend! We haven’t really talked or did anything together in close to a year. It was a really odd break because, during our late teen’s and early twenties, we were inseparable. We have always been great friends and very compatible. We never really got on each other’s nerves and always just enjoyed whatever came our way. We had so much in common that it was always easy to find something to do, but life somehow separated us. Kids, work and evolving interests caused us to go long periods of time without contact.

I am very fortunate to have friends that go back a very long time in my life. Time and lifestyle have separated us but it never feels awkward whenever we do catch up. But even if it is easy to reconnect, I am realizing a little more each time that I need to stop expecting that tomorrow will always be there. I need to do a better job preserving my connections with those irreplaceable friendships. Time is running out for each of us and our friendships are not exempt from this diminishing return. Even though our friendship may survive the test of gaps in between contact, our lives will not pass that test. We are getting older and regrets will be made if we do not make reconnecting a priority as we go along this thing called life.

That afternoon, we made plans to go golfing and as we played that round of golf our stories flowed ever so easily they were never forced and we always had a good chuckle. We easily dipped into the bucket of memories and relived them as if they were pieces in time that shaped us into who we are today. We had a great time together with a promise to meet up again soon -real soon. I think this time it became very important for us to make new memories before the memories of old erode as our minds fade into the eventual darkness of age.

It became very apparent to me that I must do a better job of guarding the friendships who shaped me into the person I am today. These friends have been there for me during the best and worst of times during my life and while I may not need those people as much as I did back in the day, I still need to have their influence, their history and their personalities in my life. I really must try harder at making the time necessary to rekindle the fire that kept us warm during our friendship. If I don’t, there will be a day that fire will die and our friendships will go cold.

I would be absolutely crushed to not have these great friendships in my life. I cannot take it forgranted that they will always be there, as they won’t; I won’t always be here. Life is cruel like that. If we don’t keep care of the relationships that we have built while we are alive, fate will be more than happy to destroy them when we aren’t. I never want to live in regret of “what could have been?” when my friendships go to die.

2 thoughts on “Where Do My Friendships Go When They Die?

  1. Thanks for the article and the message to appreciate past friendships. However, I disagree with the takeaway – “If I don’t, there will be a day that fire will die and our friendships will go cold”. As you pointed out, you hadn’t spoken to this friend in over a year, yet you felt an immediate connection once you got together. This year, I had the opportunity to reconnect with some friends I hadn’t seen in over ten years, and I was struck by how quickly the old resonance returned. I’d argue that the takeaway is that, while our Time is short, our old friendships never truly die. When they surface in our minds, we have an opportunity to reach out. It’s never too late until it’s too late to matter.

    1. You are completely right, thank you for pointing that out! I really didn’t articulate that well, what I really meant to say was that I take for granted that that warmth will always be there but one day, it won’t. I have been lucky up to this point that it has, but as we all know, we should never press our luck. Thanks for your comment!!

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