So today marks our 16th wedding anniversary. As each year passes, our anniversaries really seem to become more remarkable as we witness many of our friend’s and family’s marriages fail or simply fall apart. Ours has somehow stood the test of time even though there have been times when I thought for sure we were going to be looking for separate addresses.
As I reflect on the success of our marriage, It becomes more apparent each year that the reason we still exist as a couple is that we don’t need each other. I know, that sounds weird, but read me out.
If I needed you and you needed me that would mean that we have no other choice but to be with each other. It could be said that because we have a child, we need to be together to raise him; but I see a lot of parenting being done by single parents and done very well. He would still very much survive without us sharing a house. We don’t need each other for financial reasons as we both have decent paying jobs and we don’t need each other for our health as we are both able bodied and healthy.
Certainly, there have been times when we needed to lean on each other. Early in our marriage, we needed each other for emotional stability as we became more independent from our parents. We needed each other for financial reasons when one of us had to go out on leave for school or maternity. There were times when we needed each other to be a friend to pick ourselves up when we fell down. But in each case, we didn’t need each other to get through these tough times and we certainly didn’t need to love each other to be triumphant over them. No, we chose each other to get through them and we chose to love each other through them -no matter how trying the times got.
That is the difference in our marriage, we choose to be together.
Choosing to be together is more rewarding and only serves to enrich a friendship that has lasted this long. We can love anyone we choose and we chose each other. If I needed you to love me, or you needed me to love you then that only leads to a relationship that becomes draining and hopeless to each other. In a relationship of need, the balance of need often shifts and disagreements will never get resolved until the need is fulfilled -if it ever does. And when it doesn’t a marriage falls apart.
So to my beautiful, strong, wise and caring wife. I only have one need and that is to be happy, but I don’t need you to make me happy. I simply choose your love and your beautiful soul to make me happy for now until death do us part. Thank you for being you.
Thank you for being you.
I love you and I choose to love you each and every day.