I was asked by my friend Yves to write about my New Year’s resolutions in my blog. I quickly balked at his request as I reminded him that in 2015 I became obsessed with my “numbers” New Year’s resolutions (write 50 blog posts, walk 1,000 kilometres and read 10 books) and I didn’t grow in the right direction. In 2016, I decided to take on a subdued approach to my goals and while I achieved most of them, the events that unfolded in the year certainly were not inline with what I had set out to accomplish. I found writing out my goals to be a frivolous exercise. So this year, I had decided I was not going to write a blog post about my 2017 goals. Instead, I was going to keep them to myself and celebrate them personally. But Yves insisted. By writing our goals and sharing them, we become more accountable. I agreed with that sentiment. So here are my goals for 2017:
Get a tattoo. Why? I have always wanted to make a mark on my body that makes it mine. Being a survivor of childhood abuse, I have always had a feeling that the skin I wear is not really mine. By getting a tattoo and making a mark on myself, I feel as though I can symbolically claim my body back.
Cut cable and social media. Why? Watching TV and getting tied up on Facebook is wasting precious time that I will never get back in my life. TV fills my mind with needless garbage and while I may find it to be mind numbing entertainment, I have learned that I do not need to be numbed anymore. My brain needs to be activated, staying away from TV and limiting my interactions on social media will ensure my mind is being used and not abused. As a family, we have decided to make 2017 the year we finally cut the cable, we will spend more time with each other and play, learn and interact.
Read at least 20 books. Why? I slacked off on my reading in 2016. I love to read, but I didn’t give it more of a priority this year. I allowed TV, Facebook snooping and sleep to get in the way of true learning. So in 2017, I must limit the distractions and get back to feeding my brain instead of starving it.
Climb CN Tower. Why? I need to challenge my body to do things that most people will not do. I want something to train for and climbing the 1,776 stairs of the CN Tower is certainly a sky high goal. I have walked around the outside of the tallest building in Canada, now it is time to climb it. Look for this to be done in either April or October.
Cutting fructose completely from my diet. Why? The chemical fructose that is loaded into almost every store bought food item is the leading to the destruction of our species. High-fructose corn syrup is the prime culprit to our obesity epidemic and is responsible for causing certain cancers and type 2 diabetes. This chemical is downright lethal, and it is everywhere! From bread to salad dressing to coating on peanuts. This will be a tough and gradual project in 2017. I will need to learn more about this chemical and be extremely vigilant in reading labels. I have been quite strict on my intake of fructose in the past, I will just take this up an even higher notch.
Give more. Why? I have been given so much in my life. There are days I literally stop what I am doing and appreciate in awe of the love, humanity and patience I have been given by those who love me. I now have enough. I am full. While I may not have much money to give, I have time. I intend on giving more of my time to help others, either by feeding them, guiding them or simply just being present with them. Giving our most precious resource of time is the single most important thing we can give to another human being, yet we waste it on trivial matters that make no meaning to our lives. I can give $20 dollars to someone and buy them one supper, but I can give that someone 20 minutes of my time and I can save their life. That is profound.
Grow Victor Walk in Moncton. Why? The first Victor Walk in Moncton was a small success. Being that it was the first event I have ever organized, I was elated that I was able to get 20+ of my closest friends to show up and give support to victims of childhood trauma. In 2017, my goal is to have 100 people show up. This will mean stepping outside of my comfort zone in attracting more interest in the event. I want more people to join the conversation of childhood trauma. The only way for victims to become survivors is to speak out and know that others are there to support them. The Victor Walk may just be one small event, but it could be the planting of the seed that leads to someone breaking their silence.
Finish my book. Why? I have a story to tell. I may never get my day in court, but I will have my final say in the story that has dominated my life. I once thought that my closure would come the day I had a court decided resolution. But I have come to the realization that this will probably never happen. Writing my book not only gives me closure, but it also allows me to share my experience, my trials and my triumphs with others who may share the same story. I hope that by sharing my words, I can help others heal. We all have trials in our lives, the most difficult thing is to share, be honest and be open about your feelings from them. Once we can master this open communication, we begin the process of healing. In 2017, I will be completely healed from my abuse. It is going to take a lot of work but my book, will be my final band-aid.