“I can’t move like I used to”
“I can’t be happy at work… at home”
“I can’t run a marathon”
“I can’t understand my kids… my spouse”
“I can’t get past this”
“I can’t live the life that I want”
Victim speak. One of the true deconstructs of our lives. We all do it from time to time, some more than others. We do it sub-consciously without realizing it. It wasn’t until I realized my self-victimization was the reason why I couldn’t get out of the holes that I was digging for myself. Early this year I had chosen to make a concerted effort to rid myself of victim speak; choosing instead to inspire myself by providing a solution instead of stating the problem.
One of my biggest conquests was to rid myself of “I can’t”. The simple phrase of “I can’t” has become a villain in my life as I will no longer hide behind my excuse. I replace it with “I won’t” because if I really want to do something I will find a way to do it. Saying that I can’t do it really means that I won’t do it. “I can’t get up in the morning to exercise” really means that I won’t do it. I am not willing to make the necessary changes in my lifestyle to get my ass out of bed each morning and drag it to the gym. It is not a bad thing to say that I won’t do something. It is my freedom of choice in life to do what I want to do! But to play the victim and say that “I can’t” is self defeating and I am doing nothing to move my growth forward.
Every time you flip your “I can’t” to “I won’t”, you will begin to find that you really understand yourself and the choices that you make. When you get rid of I can’t in your life, you sometimes can find the motivation to do what it was that you said you couldn’t do. When you say that you won’t do something, you are making the firm decision not to do it but sometimes that really wasn’t your choice all along. If you had always said that “I can’t loose weight” and turned it around to say “I won’t loose weight”, it makes it much more apparent that you are happy with your current weight… but are you? You just always hid behind the “I can’t” and would rather play the victim over the victor.
I won’t say I can’t.