“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” ― Sylvia Plath
The timing of this blog posting is way off my usual Monday morning offerings. Here it is Wednesday and I am finally posting my thoughts. You see, last week and the better part of this week; I had lost my inspiration and I had lost my imagination. What went wrong? Well to sum it up, I had lost sight of my goals and more importantly, why I had even set them in the first place.
A couple of weeks ago, I had hit a milestone in my three personal goals for this year. I had finally walked my 1,000th kilometer. This was huge to me. I finally did it! But instead of feeling joy over my accomplishment, I felt disappointed. I had nothing to walk for anymore. So, I walked 1,000 kms, now what? I fell off my adrenaline rush. I crashed. Walking each evening became an option to me, so I didn’t do it.
This past weekend, I had a great time celebrating Halloween with friends. I even got to dress up in my favorite costume. Once the weekend fun was done, I had caught a cold. I don’t usually catch colds and this one was nasty. During my rest time I started thinking, how did I get this cold? and why was it so nasty? Nobody around me had a cold. I had been eating relatively well, I had been sleeping quite good. Then I realized. I had been spending more and more time away from the things that drive me; things that keep me moving forward. Since I reached my 1,000 km goal, I haven’t been walking nearly as much as I had before, I haven’t been going outside in the fresh air, clearing my lungs of filth and my brain of the things that consume me the most.
Instead of walking, I had been spending my time overthinking what goals I want to achieve next year instead of reflecting on what I had done so far this year. I was thinking of tomorrow while loosing sight of today. By not living in the present I had lost my inspiration and creativity to even write my blog. I had upset the balance that had gotten me this far in my journey. It’s a funny thing how our body works. This cold is probably the best timed cold ever. It has forced me to slow down and reflect and to get back to what drives me best.
1,057 / 1,000 KMs walked | 47 / 50 blog posts | 17 / 10 books read