Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. – Franz Schubert
Next to raising a child, marriage has been the most challenging thing that I have ever done. I am not saying that as a bad thing, it has been a very good thing. If marriage becomes easy, then you are doing it wrong. Tomorrow marks our 14th wedding anniversary and I am truly fortunate to be married to my best friend. In those years we have had to face a lot of issues head-on that I am sure would have broken other marriages but our trials seemed to have only strengthened our bond. While many of our friends marriages have sadly come and gone, ours has seems to have made it. Sure, we are still youngin’s in the marriage game but it seems surviving through some of the trials we have been through can only galvanize our relationship. I think the biggest thing that got us through is that we never lost respect for one another. We would never prey on each others weaknesses to get ahead. We have always found compromise and sometimes we had to fight really hard to get it.
You see, for the better part of our marriage I was not truthful in what I brought to the table. I wasn’t myself. I had some dark secrets that I held deep inside and well, I just couldn’t trust anyone with them. There was always a “pink elephant” in our marriage and I saw it sitting there but all she saw was the shadow. It was tough, almost an insurmountable challenge. I held in a large amount of guilt, sadness and embarrassment that drove me to be someone that I wasn’t. Worst of all, I kept some people in between us that caused a lot of turmoil in our marriage. With my chasing an “ideal” life that wasn’t me and the fact I just couldn’t trust my best friend with my darkest secrets, it drove a wedge into our marriage. Thankfully, as a testament to the person Christina is, our marriage survived. I give her all the credit for that. She could have ran away, she could have left me for someone with a lot less baggage, but she didn’t. You see she is the most loyal person I have ever met. She believed in us and stuck through my transition from a selfish and dark person to what I am today. She didn’t run away after I told her what had happened to me in the past. I am certainly not a finished product, but I am a better person because of her. I owe her my life.
The two people I believe in the most are a product of that day in mid-August 2001. Christina stood up in front of all our friends and family and made the vow to me to stand by me through thick and thin and she has lived up to that. Her perseverance, loyalty and genuine strong will is what I admire the most in her. She is my hero. Not only has she been there for me, but she gave us the little man that gives us each a purpose to keep strong each and every day. Our son has been the best thing we have ever done and his unconditional love has taught us both that our love for each other is very important in raising him to be a thoughtful and loving person.
Neither of us are perfect but I really believe that our weaknesses and strengths compliment our marriage to the point where we will continue to persevere over what ever may come in the future. These past few years have been rough but they have only made me appreciate the love that I get from my beautiful, genuine, loyal and empathetic wife. Without her, I simply would not be the person I am today. I would even go so far as to say, I probably wouldn’t even be here.
787 / 1000 KMs walked | 36 / 50 blog posts |
13 / 10 books read