A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. – John C. Maxwell

We are taught at a very young age to follow somebody. Be it your parents, your teachers, your elders. That is one of the first steps to learning from the mistakes made by others. If you do not learn their history, you are bound to repeat it. So, as you grow older, it is finding that balance between learning from others and knowing what is right that will play a factor in your overall life satisfaction.

I had a very influential person in my life, and not necessarily in a good way. While I did learn a lot of good, handy things in life from this influence, the relationship became poisonous because it was based on a foundation of lies. Basically, it was one of those situations of keeping your friends close, your enemies closer. I had found myself rejecting my own ideals, my own freedom of expression in order to please this influence -this “leader”. Anyways, it was only after I rid myself of this influence did I find myself without a leader and then I had to learn and fend for myself.

What I found difficult from the fallout is that I could not trust myself with my own decision making. My wisdom was not great enough to guide me towards what I found was right. I wanted to define my moral compass by what others had achieved, and well, that is just not a recipe for happiness. I found myself becoming more materialistic and more self-conscience. It had taken me awhile to learn that I needed to establish my own set of guidelines, my own set of things that would make me happy. That just because something makes others happy, it doesn’t mean it will necessarily make me happy.

I often confuse myself in my definition of “following a leader”. I tend to only focus on the achievements of this leader and believe that this is what makes happiness. Then, when I try to achieve these things myself, I only get frustrated because I do not have the knowledge or the resolve to complete them. I also am missing the desire to complete a task that I really had no deep down desire to complete. This is where I have had to remind myself that any time I find myself following a leader, I need to learn from their practice, their routines, their focus and determination. It is those lessons that I learn from my leaders coupled with my passions in life that will lead me to greater life satisfaction and complete happiness.

488 / 1000 KMs walked | 25 / 50 blog posts | 11 / 10 books read